Creating Autism Friendly Weddings: A Celebrant’s Guide
As a celebrant with a career in Learning & Development for 25+ years I have encountered all sorts of lovely people. But as a celebrant I specialist in supporting people who are neurodivergent and that includes supporting people who are Autistic.
Autism is a neurodiverse condition that impacts the way you think and respond to the world around you. It’s a spectrum condition, which means it affects people in different ways. It’s sometimes called autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or a ‘developmental disability’. You may also hear the term ‘Asperger’s syndrome’, but doctors don’t diagnose this anymore.
mind.org.uk
So if you are getting married and are considering a celebrant led ceremony, then how can I help? Autism is a spectrum and people are individuals, so not one type of support will be useful. Here are a few things that can be done to make things easier:
Communication with your celebrant
- As your celebrant, I will listen to you. You know how you work best, so we’ll follow your preferred way of planning and receiving information. I can be flexible, and as long as we are ready in time for the ceremony, everything will be great.
- I will be direct and not be ambiguous in my communication.
- I will allow time for processing, by not providing too much information in one go and making sure we always have detailed notes.
- I can offer those notes in whatever form works best for you, e.g. recorded videos, photos, mind maps, lists, or flash cards.
Avoiding Overwhelm at Weddings
It’s possible that, unless you are getting married in your personal safe space (which of course you CAN do with a celebrant led ceremony) – new places may not meet your sensory, processing or communication needs. So I can work as part of your amazing support crew to advocate for you in your venue and create a ceremony that creates the environment and vibe that you need to feel comfortable.
There will NEVER be any pressure from me as your celebrant to rush, to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or anything that you don’t like or can’t deal with. I have personal experience of having to remove highly fragranced candles from a venue as the smell became immediately too much for the people as they arrived.
Trust me, I understand completely.
Need a break?
Imagine you are in the middle of your ceremony and suddenly feel overwhelmed, a bit panicky or upset and need a minute. Then we can absolutely do that. There are lots of options and secret tricks that we can use to provide a “time out” in your ceremony. Here are a few ways that we could do that:
- We could agree on a signal – so you can let me know we need a pause – I can continue the ceremony with an agreed reading, a piece of music or something similar to give you the space to feel more steady.
- We could ask your guests at the start of your ceremony (before you arrive) to either do or not do certain things, like warning them things might pause or to ask them to be quiet at certain points or (if you think it will bug you) not scrape their chairs. 🤫
- We could agree who your “support person” or what your “Comfort” item is, so if we need to grab your special thing or person, we can incorporate that without any fuss.
It is possible to have an Autism-friendly wedding and I, as your celebrant can help with that. I can guide you every step of the way… if you think this might be for you, then you can make an obligation free enquiry.
P.s. I love this example of an Autism friendly wedding:
